Gathering Dust: Adam Emerson
by Dark-Gray30
Summary: The story of three brothers, their lives and the woman in their lives. Romance, family drama, hurt / comfort, addiction, redemption. Characters inspired by actors. Drew Emerson: Matt Bomer, Adam Emerson: Henry Cavill,Eliot Emerson: Anson Mount, Hannah: Emily Blunt, Evelyn Mitchell: Ashleigh Cummings and more.
1. Chapter 1

Gathering Dust : Adam Emerson prologue:

"Drew?" Adam asked with trepidation, "Where are we going?"

"To Chicago. Remember Mom told us that at dinner."

"But then are we gonna go home?"

"We will be home."

Drew's voice was quiet with the gravity of new understanding and even as he said the words to his little brother their true meaning fanned across his burgeoning view of how the world operated.

Hours before at a McDonald's somewhere in the state of Kentucky their mother had tried to explain to them that they were on their way to a new life in a new city. Eliot had known from the moment he watched his mother carry out the first box to their 1983 station wagon that they were leaving. But it had taken Drew much longer to realize they were leaving everything and that included their Father. Little Adam at seven years old could hardly understand why everyone was so quiet and why his mom had been intermittently breaking into tears every time she looked at him. Was she angry, had he done something wrong? He watched the road where they had been studiously, a small wrinkle worrying the space between his eyes. He didn't know what was happening but he could tell it was important. Eliot had been no help since they had left their house. All he did was sulk or bury him self in " The Man in the High Tower." In the past his oldest brother could always be counted on for guidance and insight. Ignoring his younger brothers seemed to be a new hobby and Adam wondered if Eliot would ever talk to him again. A tight and scared feeling began needling away at his young heart and suddenly he knew what it was like to be home sick. For him home had always been a place he knew, filled with people who he didn't always understand but who he knew loved him. Did Eliot not love him any more? Did his mom not love his dad any more?

"Boy's?" Their mother called as she turned off the turnpike and into an all night gas station.

Instinctively Adam and Drew turned in their shared bench seat to their mother behind the wheel.

"Its real late," she paused and glanced to the back seat where two eyes out of six were missing. "Eliot," she waited. "Son, I need you to listen to me with your face."

There was a loud sigh and then the shuffling of pages as a sullen man-child of twelve popped his disheveled head up from the back seat so his mother could see his eyes.

"We aren't going to get a motel tonight, we can't afford it," she said in a low even tone as the car came to a stop. As she turned off the ignition and the world was suddenly plunged into silence. "I want all three of you to get out your tooth brushes and walk into the bathroom here and brush your teeth. Drew?"

The nine year old in the way way back snapped to attention.

"You're in charge of the toothpaste. Eliot you make sure everyone rinses their face and washes behind their ears."

"Mama?" Adam hollered a bit to loud.

"Yes baby?" their mother stifled a smile.

"What am I in charge of?"

"Son you're in charge of the most important thing, that's making sure that you and all your brothers get back here in exactly ten minutes."

Adams bright eyes danced, dizzy with power and importance.

Drew met Eliot's gaze and they bother rolled their eyes simultaneously.

"I see that." Elizabeth Emerson hid her amused expression.

The brother's all dug in their overnight bags, found their toothbrushes and a wash cloth they had each been instructed to 'borrow' from the cheap motel they had slept at last night and followed Eliot into the convince store. Adam who had just learned to read two months ago darted ahead of his brothers with a "There it is!" and banged his way into the door with the man sign on it. Unfortunately it was locked. When his shoulder hit the metal enforced door he bounced and landed on his back side. The wind was knocked out of him, and his small boney shoulder ached. He wanted his mother to come and scoop him up in her arms. He wanted to bury his face in her hair and cry.

"That's why you shouldn't run ahead dip shit." Eliot stepped over him and laughed.

Adam looked at the floor, Eliot was saying bad words now.

"Are you okay?" Drew had shoved his toothbrush and the toothpaste haphazardly in his pocket and was pulling Adam to his feet now.

Adam rubbed his shoulder and picked up his toothbrush that had fallen out of his hand when he hit the ground.

"Eliot, I'm gonna tell mom that you said a bad word at me."

"Go ahead you little tattle tale, I don't give a SHIT."

"Adam don't be a baby, only babies snitch." Drew added as a matter of fact.

"I'm not a baby!" he pushed Drew with everything he had.

Drew was about to push him back when he saw his mother glance through the front window at them. He didn't want to hear about being a good older brother for the bajillenth time so he just shrugged his shoulders and breathed "Whatever".

They heard the lock on the bathroom door being unhinged and stepped back as a man three times their size crossed the threshold back into the store. He eyed the three boys as the younger two both hid behind the older one.

"Fellas." He nodded with a surprising grin.

They watched the giant trucker grab a few snacks and pay at the counter, until finally Drew and Adam felt Eliot shuffle them into the bathroom.

"Hurry up." He commanded.

As charged by their mother Drew put a squirt of toothpaste on each of their brushes and they set about their nightly routine in a less then normal place.

"If we aren't getting a motel tonight, then where are we sleeping?" Drew was clearly addressing this to Eliot who was already done brushing his teeth and was now washing his face.

"In the car dummy."

"But there isn't any room, cause'a all our stuff." Adam added in a confused tone.

"Yeah well, maybe we'll put you on the roof."

This was one of Eliot's most pure joys in life. He could get Adam to believe almost anything; his favorite's were telling Adam he was adopted, that he was actually an alien, and that when you kissed a girl a baby would pop out.

"What? No! I don't want to sleep on the roof!"

Drew rolled his eyes while he spit the last of his toothpaste in the sink. "Relax, don't be stupid. Mom would never let you sleep on the roof."

Eliot elbowed Drew hard in the ribs and gave him a look like he better shut his mouth or else.

"OW! Eliot I'm telling mom!"

Eliot threw his hands in the air and let out a frustrated noise straight from his gut.

"Damn it to hell, you two suck balls!"

"You suck balls!" Adam screamed back at him without even an understanding of what suck balls meant. He imagined it had something to do with sports. They watched Eliot push his way out of the bathroom and then let the door swing shut with an angry thud.

"Adam!" Drew eyed his little brother with a dark glare. "Don't you say that. Mom says that's vulgar speaking and we shouldn't do it unless we want people to think we are trash."

"What's vulgar mean?" he scrubbed the stolen washcloth behind his ear with vigor.

"I don't know, but it's bad."

"Well, why is Eliot talking so bad."

Drew stopped what he was doing and stared at himself in the mirror, searching his young mind for anything that made sense to him. When he arrived at an answer his heart got a little cold and he turned to open the bathroom door, "I think because Dads not here."

Adam followed him through the store silently coveting every sweet he saw and when they got out side they noticed that Eliot was already in the car, his flashlight on and his nose stuck back behind his book. Adam was okay at reading and he didn't mind doing it in school but he couldn't understand for life of him why anyone would want to read stupid books when they weren't even at school.

"You're late." His mother eyed him.

"But I didn't have a clock, how's was I spossed to know how long ten minutes was?"

His mother looked at him seriously for a moment then grinned, "Alright, you make a good point, we'll let it go this time. But next time you better be back on time, okay?"

"Yes ma'am." Adam saluted her resolutely.

She saluted him back and then place her hands on his shoulders, stooping down to his eye level.

"Did you wash behind your ears?"

"Umm hum." He nodded with exaggeration.

She looked at him tenderly for a moment and then tears came to her eyes. She quickly pulled her youngest son into her arms and with an almost crushing force hugged him fiercely.

"I love you baby." She managed to get out before releasing him.

"Mom," Adam whined. "I'm not a baby! I'm seven years old!"

She took a deep breath and shoved another tear as well as her emotions away and answered with smirk, " I know you're seven and you are right, but you will always be my baby, no matter how old you get!"

Rising to her feet she followed him to the car and held the back door open for him.

"Boys, make sure those toothbrushes get back in your bags right this minute. Lord knows I can't afford to be buying toothbrushes everyday."


	2. Chapter 2

"Did you see the picture of Ethan that Rob and Lisa sent?"

"The one from their Thanksgiving text?"

"Yes, with the little turkey hat on his head?"

"I can't believe how big he is getting, I mean we have only been gone for what like two months? He is getting huge!"

Drew glanced at Hannah and smiled. They had just spent a week in Northern California with her family and it had invigorated her, the damp clean air of the bay area and mountains seemed to have injected a fresh spark of light in her that the move to Chicago had overshadowed. Or maybe it was that she was halfway through her second trimester and was finally getting back her energy and appetite.

"Hey babe? Can I ask you something?"

Drew's grin falter slightly at the tentative tone her voice took on.

"What?" he braced himself.

"Well, I know your family is different from mine, and I know in particular there is a lot of history between you and your brothers that I don't understand but I just," Hannah paused and rubbed her belly absently as she searched carefully for the right words. "Do you think that when you are with your brothers, Adam in particular you act different?"

"Different from what?" Drew rushed.

"Just, sometimes you are so short and I don't know, oddly aggressive towards him."

Heat flamed up Drew's neck and into his mouth.

"You are right there is a lot of history that you don't know anything about. If I act different with Adam it's because he doesn't seem to respond to anything else!" he knew he was being defensive.

"But, it's just like so uncharacteristically weird. Babe, you are so kind and so sweet to my family and you get on so well with them, with everyone in fact, I guess I just don't understand where that all goes whenever we are with your brothers, it's like you're holding back or something?"

"Hannah, where is the real point in this conversation, what's the real issue?"

" I'm sorry, I don't want to fight, honest. I just think it would be nice if you could see how hard Adam tries. I know I have just met him and I never knew him before but he is your baby brother, and I can see that he still looks up to you."

"What do you want me to do?" His voice was controlled yet distant.

She didn't answer immediately and again he looked at her out of the corner of his eye as he turned the car onto the crowed street where his brothers apartment was.

"Just try to be patient with him maybe. Try to get to know him."

"Oh, I know him." Drew said quietly his jaw clenching ever so slightly.

It was silent as he found a spot and angled the car into it.

"Hey," Hannah reached over to him gently placing her hand on his. "I love you, don't forget I'm always on your team."

Drew softened, warmed by her reassurance and gesture. His eyes studied hers, and when he found only acceptance and well meaning his hand slid across her jaw and to her chin. Placing his lips on hers he kissed her tenderly as a peace offering then added, "I'll try to be more understanding, I promise."

Hannah had no idea what she was asking him to do, more importantly what she was asking him to forget.

A knock on the door sent a small ripple of dread into Adams gut. It wasn't that he hated his brother it was more like whenever he was around Drew he felt like they were both ice skating on a frozen Lake and at any moment they could reach a patch of thin ice and then all hell would brake loose. It was exhausting and at the moment he felt ill equipped to manage the task. He knew they were coming but secretly he had hoped that maybe Hannah would be tired and they would decide not to drive over. The last week they had been on the west coast had actually been a welcomed rest to Adam and he had reveled in the silence and easiness of his own company, there was fight enough just in dealing with himself. Still he did like his brothers girlfriend, her presence seemed to ease the repressed tension between he and Drew and for that alone Adam would have awarded her the Nobel peace prize.

When there was another louder more insistent knock he reluctantly turned away from the window he had been staring out of, took a large swig of black coffee for courage and walked towards the door. When he opened it both Hannah and Drew grinned at him. They were such a stylish and attractive pair that Adam had to stop his eyes from rolling.

"Do you guys just live in like a William Sonoma add or something ?"

"Annndd hello to you to."

Hannah was immediately reaching for him and Adam couldn't help the small and genuine smile that came to his lips as she gave him a tight hug and hello.

"How did you know that's like my favorite store ever!?" she asked with a teasing smirk.

"Oh just a wild guess." He joked shutting the front door behind them.

"So, we brought roast chicken and rice pilaf. I hope that's okay?"

"If you made it I'm sure it's amazing."

"Oh," Hannah's jovial manner faltered,. " Whole Foods made it, I'm sorry."

Adam felt a twinge of guilt.

"I'm sure it will be delicious. " he doubled his effort to be accommodating.

"I promise I'll actually cook next time."

"Do you guys want to eat right now? Or wait ?" Drew eyed Hannah and then his brother.

"Let's let the lady growing a human decide."

"Well I know what the answer is then." Drew's gaze was quickly back on Hannah who was shrugging out of her coat and he smiled secretly at her as if they were wordlessly telling each other a joke. "The real question is do you have any clean plates?"

"Of course I do, I'm not some Neanderthal barbarian." Adam eyed his brother defensively and shrugged past him into the kitchen.

After Adam had found the plates and silverware he cleared his work off the dining room table, apologizing to Hannah mostly for the mess.

"Please," she scoffed. "This is nothing. You should see what our table looks like when Drew is writing a story, it's like a paper mill exploded." She paused and glanced at the man she loved with a teasing grin. " Maybe it's a family trait, I seem to recall your mom's table looking the same way."

Drew eyed her "Okay, but I don't think you have any room to criticize, have you seen your side of the closet? Or better yet let's talk about the bathroom counter."

"Here's something," Adam interjected shortly, "Let's not talk about any of it."

He had absolutely no interest in the further discussion of the daily trials of domesticity. The idea of having to truly answer to someone else in life made him shutter with repulsion. He liked being in charge of himself and that was the end of it. His life was simple, uncomplicated by the commitment to another person and that's the way he preferred it. No relationship with a woman had ever gone beyond anything other then physical. He had never pictured himself married, and certainly never wanted kids. He was happy to let Drew be the one in their family to fulfill his mother's need for a next generation. Drew was the golden boy anyway, let him be the son to provide the perfect looking life. Nothing about Adam was perfect, he was twenty eight, very single and a recovering alcoholic. Since getting out of rehab two months earlier he had barely left his apartment; he worked as a freelance graphic designer from home and the only people who came to see him were his brothers and Hannah. It was easier that way. Life was a constant battle, if he just stayed home the temptations of his old life were manageable for the most part. The councilor he saw at least once a week had said that he was hibernating, insulating himself from his disease and while it was a way to cope temporarily it was far from a permanent life style.

When their plates were finally filled and they were seated around the table conversation turned to Hannah mostly listing off the finer points of the West coast, as if she were being paid by the California tourism board. Adam tried to listen with interest but slowly his gaze and consciousness turned to the window and the a apartment across from his.

He had noticed his neighbors before, a middle aged couple with two babies. Their lives had seemed chaotic and mundane all at the same time. However when he had been artistically blocked four days ago his attention had wandered to their apartment and he had been surprised to see a young woman there, dancing. There was nothing particularly remarkable about her and yet he had been riveted to where he stood for way longer then was politely acceptable. She was petite with long hair that waved and curled down past her shoulders and when she moved there was an awkward grace about her. As he had watched he had been struck with the complete abandon and joy she allowed her body to express and when his eyes had zeroed in on the curve of her hip and the dip of her neck between her head and shoulders his obsession was born. Every so often the rhythm of her step would change and she would lean down to where the babies played happily on the ground and give them a little tickle. When she smiled heat had flamed across his chest and he knew something in the world had suddenly changed. The need he felt to know the song she danced to or more importantly to know the girl herself was unnerving and more then once he had wondered if he was exaggerating the way his very soul had suddenly shaken awake. He had been so intrigued that when he had figured out that he could see her but she couldn't see him he had watched for the rest of the afternoon. The idea that he was being completely creepy had crossed his mind continually and still he had not been able to tare himself away.

Over the next few days he had learned several things; she did not live there, she took care of the babies from 7am to 4pm everyday, she drank a lot of coffee and she was completely and utterly luminous. On the third day she wore a red shirt, he couldn't stop himself. In fact he had to ask for an extension on a project that was due, because he couldn't get the color red out of his mind. He had sketched her, hoping that maybe his attention had been diverted to her merely out of artistic inspiration. It hadn't been enough. More then once he had conversed out loud with him self that this was how psychopathic people behaved in movies and that while he might be a recovering alcoholic shut in he was not going to be known as that scary neighbor who stares out his window all day.

Thankfully it was the weekend and he had two full days free from her presence. Enough to rid himself of the horrible new habit he had picked up.

"So Adam," Hannah grinned as she eyed Drew playfully across the table. "What was Drew like growing up. Eliot's already told me some, but I'm curious to hear from you."

"Oh, yeah?" Adam studied his plate. "and what did Eliot say?"

"He said that Drew was a, what did he call you babe? A brown noser?"

Adam let out a chuckle in spite of himself and looked at his older brother.

Drew cocked his head to the side and frowned, his eye brows knitting together in disagreement.

"Yeah, that sounds about right." Adam leveled.

"Okay, so it's pretty obvious Drew is and was an over achiever, but what else?"

"You guys, just so you remember, I am sitting right here."

Hannah tried not to laugh as she took a delicate bite of food and watched Adams lean back in his chair and fold his arms in thought.

"Honestly, I guess Drew was sort of the forgotten man, ya know typical middle child stuff."

"Oh, gee, thanks a lot."

"I just mean, that Eliot was an angry son of a bitch the same way he is now, I was always getting in trouble, and Drew, just never did anything wrong, he never got in trouble like we did. He always got good grades, brushed his teeth, and made sure that I knew how to tie my own shoes."

"Wow, I think that's the nicest thing you ever said about me." Drew stared at his little brother with a hint of sarcasm.

"Come on!" Hannah prodded, " Give me some dirt, he couldn't have been perfect, though if you tell me he really was I would probably believe you."

Adam glanced at Drew and his eyes narrowed. "Well, I do seem to remember that Drew was like the least chill person ever when we used to smoke pot."

"What!?" Hannah almost yelled in disbelief. "You? You used to smoke weed?"

She let out an almost hysterical laugh of surprise as Drew glared at Adam.

"We did." Adam confirmed, a small patronizing grin forming in the corner of his mouth. "Drew would get so freaked out. It made him the most anxious and nervous wreck."

"I wasn't that bad." Drew disagreed.

"Yes, you were." Adam was almost laughing now, "Remember that party at Joe Powers? You got so baked that you like built your self a little barricade and spent all night peaking out the window paranoid that the police were on their way."

Hannah giggled uncontrollably as Adam watched his brother in silent laugher, the image of Drew poking his head out from behind a cushion trying to shush the entire party to hear if sirens were coming their way, came to his mind.

Drew rolled his eyes and tried not smile.

"He kept saying, stop, do you hear that? Oh shit, they're coming!"

Hannah hit Adam on the arm as a new fit of laughter began to make tears come to her eyes. "Stop!" She gasped unable to control herself.

"Okay, okay," Drew tried to coral the other two people at the dinner table. "What about how you just sat there all night looking at that book?"

"Hey man, I was cool, and that was an amazing book."

"It was a magic eye book, and you never even saw anything, you just kept pretending to and saying whoa, whoa."

"How do you know I never saw anything?!"

"Because I asked you, and you told me you never saw anything." Drew was close to letting out his own boisterous laugh when he suddenly added, "Wasn't that the night you made out with that Lucy chick?"

"Oh yeah," Adam leaned back in his chair a little and rubbed a hand over his chin. "Lucy Anderson." He smiled sheepishly. "That was a good night."

"For you." Drew eyed him with fresh annoyance.

"I can not believe you never told me that you used get high!" Hannah looked to the Father of the baby that was growing inside of her.

A trickle of fresh apprehension rushed over Drew and he looked with a pleading flicker to his brother, hoping in some small way the connection they once shared was still somehow enough to communicate his lack of desire to continue this stroll down memory lane. Adams eyes narrowed slightly and he chewed at the corner of his bottom lip, a tick that he hadn't been able to out grown that manifested whenever he was uncomfortable. Silently he thought he understood what Drew's warning look had urged and he began to wonder if there was a lot of stuff his brother had never told Hannah about.

When neither men made any attempt to farther conversation Hannah tried a different angle.

"So, babe how come we never did any weed?"

Drew choked a little on the sip of water he had just taken. With a cough he sputtered, "I'm sorry I never took you for a pot head."

"I could say the same thing to you." She smiled sharply.

With a renewed lack of interest Adam left Hannah and Drew to their own conversation and let his gaze wandered from them to the place he was trying so hard not to look at.

His neighbors house seemed quiet for a Saturday night and when he studied the scene farther he noticed all the lights were on, but no one was around. It was then that he saw her.

"What is she?..." He trailed off absently.

He assumed she didn't work on the weekend. With great interest he was on his feet and standing by the dinning room window in seconds. Excitement seemed to dance over his stomach, tightening and then spinning in a wave of anxious curiosity.

She was standing at the kitchen sink washing something, he reasoned. He couldn't see her face but he would know the shape of her body anywhere. When she turned abruptly and began walking toward the front of the large open concept kitchen-dining-living room Adams heart rate quickened.

"Shut up! Everyone shut up!" he yelled.

As the young woman approached the window Adam remembered that it was dark now and in all likelihood she would be able to not only see him at the window but see into his apartment.

"Shit." He swore under his breath in panic as he ducked out of the way behind the curtain.

"What's going on?" he vaguely heard Drew ask.

Taking a chance Adam slowly allowed his head to peak around the window. She was still there looking out across the way but her head was cocked down, instead of up towards where he was.

"What's going on?" he felt Hannah's hand on his arm as she leaned around him to see out the window. "Is this a 'Rear Window' situation, is someone being murdered?" she whispered.

Quickly Adam pulled her out of the way with gentle pressure.

"What are you looking at?"

"Nothing. " He clearly lied.

Not satisfied Hannah moved around him and searched out the window for something that could have caused such a reaction.

"You have to move, she is going to see you."

"What are you taking about? She who?"

Adam tried to move her again, placing his hands on her shoulders to gently steer her out of eye sight.

"Okay," Drew was on his feet now pulling Hannah tenderly out of his brother reach "I think that's enough of that."

His eyes flashed at Adam with deep mistrust and an almost primal warning.

"She who?" Hannah asked more insistently, unaware of the soundless exchange happening between the two men on either side of her.

"No one, it's nothing." Adam reiterated.

"I hardly think it's nothing." She smiled slyly then moved back to the window intent on discovering what it was she felt Adam was trying to hide.

When she felt Drew snake his arm around her waist protectively her grin widened and she leaned into him, slightly more confident that she could now freely search for what had gotten Adam so riled up. When her gaze landed on the apartment across the way she saw the shadow of a woman with long waves of hair that framed a small heart shaped face. Hannah's eyes quickly went to Adam, then back to the woman.

"Do you know her?" she asked.

"What?" Adam frowned and nervously ran a hand through his curly dark hair. "No. Know who?"

She watched him move around Drew so he could see out the window as well. When his gaze went directly to where the girl was Hannah's eyes narrowed in understanding, everything beginning to make sense to her.

"She's cute Adam." Hannah smiled.

"I don't know what you're talking about." He took one last quick glance over his shoulder and then returned to his seat at the dinning room table.

"Oh bull shit!" Hannah scoffed.

"What's going on?" Drew looked between Hannah and Adam. "Who's cute?"

"Drew, come on, keep up!" She pointed and placed her other hand on Drew's chin directing his eye sight to the apartment across from them. "That, I believe is the "she" Adam is trying to pretend he isn't looking at or talking about."

"Oh, for fuck sake, would you two sit down, your pointing right at her now! It's fucking creepy!"

"Ah ha!" Hannah rushed back to her seat and leaned in towards Adam. "Don't try to hide it."

"Hide what?"

"What is he hiding!?" Drew asked in sudden alarm.

"Babe, come on, sit down, let's finishing eating."

Drew stood in front of the window unmoving in his observation of his brother staring at Hannah until finally his face colored and he sheepishly looked down at his plate.

"You like her." Hannah stated rather then asked. "Who is she? How do you know her?"

"I don't like her, and I don't know her."

"Adam," Hannah softened her voice and pressed her hand on his arm for emphasis. "Of course you like her, it's all over your face."

Drew took his seat at the table and incredulously watched as his brothers expression turned from denial to quiet acceptance.

"So, have you talked to her? Do you even know her name?"

"Hannah look, I," Adam suddenly felt as if he were in a police interrogation his already tense nerves being twisted and poked. "I don't know who she is, I have never had any contact. I noticed her a few days ago and I thought she was interesting. That's all."

Hannah grinned smugly running her tongue over her bottom teeth. When she said nothing but instead prodded him with her eyes, Adam sighed heavily and began tapping the end of his fork on the table.

"I don't even know anything about her."

"But you know she isn't supposed to be here right now?"

"Han, maybe you should just let it be." Drew tried to interject, but was silenced with a sharp glance.

"Why dose it matter?" Adam laughed in nervous annoyance.

"Well, it matters because I think you like this woman, and I want to know what you are gonna do about it."

"Nothing." Both men said at the same time. Adam eyed his brother dubiously and frowned.

"What?" Drew's gaze went from his brother to Hannah.

"Its none of your business what I do."

"Oh, I'm sorry, is it not?" Drew snapped sarcastically. " You only just got out of rehab and I only just moved my family halfway across the country to help make sure you don't kill your self again, but yeah, you are totally right, it's none of my business. "

"Drew!" Hannah raised her voice in disdain.

"Oh, great, here you go, what? You have been here a whole hour and you haven't tried to tell me what to do, or tell me what's best for me, it must have just been killing you huh?"

"So what if I am trying to tell you what's best for you? Someone has to."

"Stop trying to fix me!"

"Guys!" Hannah yelled.

When both men turned to her abruptly she leaned back in her chair and smiled sadly.

"I get it." She eyed Drew knowingly, "You want to protect him, and that's not a bad thing." She turned to Adam attempting to emphasize her point. "But Adam, if you like this girl at all maybe you should take a chance try to meet her, see what happens. Maybe she is awful and has a completely annoying voice. But, maybe she is amazing and maybe you can at least make a new friend. Are friends against the rules?" she smirked at the father of her baby hoping her words had somehow softened and deflated the situation.

Adam stared at his plate, a hinge in his jaw tightening. Nothing made his temper flare more then Drew trying to control him. Even when they were little he refused to do what Drew wanted him to simply on the principle that Drew wasn't the boss of him. The more his brother didn't want him to do something the more it had always fueled his desire to do it. Warm saliva began to pool in the back of his mouth and the urge to wash it down with a stiff drink began to tug at his mind. Swallowing hard, he attempted to slow down his heart rate and examine what Hannah had just said. Maybe his interstate in the girl was more then just fascination. Maybe it was attraction. She was so entirely different from the women he normal found himself attracted to that perhaps he had mistaken his true motivation. His mind wandered back again to the vision of her dancing. He had never observed someone who was so open and filled with emotion. If he were honest with himself he would admit emotions scared him, he had been trying to avoid them his entire adult life.

"Babe, would you mind making a pot of coffee and getting the dessert?"

Adam glanced at his brother and watched as his face went from hard to resigned.

When Drew was out if ear shot Hannah leaned in closer to Adam as if she had a secret and placed her hand on his and squeezed. The gesture was oddly comforting and when he met her eyes she smiled warmly.

"Adam, it's okay to try to move on with your life. You know that right?"

Silently he studied her face, a small grin teasing the corner of his mouth.

"You are the only one who knows what you can handle. "

"But, what if he's right. Maybe it's all too soon."

"Maybe he's right. But, maybe not."

"I don't even know how I could try to meet her." He looked away and shrugged his shoulders slightly defeated.

With that one sentence he had admitted his feeling to not only himself but to Hannah as well.

Her grinned widened and she sat back in her chair thoughtfully.

"Have you thought about just standing out side the building and waiting for her?"

"That's sort of creepy, isn't it?"

"Yeah, it is." Hannah scrunched her noise and nibbled the corner of her lip.

"Why don't you just try to bumble into her in like an organic way, like does she ever take the babies for walks? Maybe you could just find a way to introduce your self as a neighbor? "

"Adam? Where is your sugar? " Drew yelled from the kitchen.

"Just keep your eyes open for an opportunity, I'm sure something will come around."


	3. Chapter 3

"What do you think death is like?"

There was a deep sigh and then she felt his hand fall to the bed.

"Fuck sake James, that's so morbid."

She immediately regretted saying her thoughts out loud and as her heart

sunk and sped up with the flush of embarrassment all at the same time she

closed her eyes and tried not to think of her mother. For some reason she

had been doing that a lot lately, trying not to think of her dead mother. The

anniversary of her passing wasn't for another six months, maybe it was the

impending holiday season that brought the memory of her loss so near.

"Is that really what you wanna talk about my last night in town?"

She loved being with him and the thought that he was going away made

the ache of separation all more an impending presence. Living and

breathing the same air they were.

He had this tendency to pull her close yet push her away in one sentence.

Since they had first met she had struggled to feel his equal, to be as in the

know and clever as he was.

"James?" he was up on his side now resting his elbows on her mattress.

Reaching out to get her attention he slowly ran his fingers over her

stomach and up her ribs. His gaze was trained on her mouth and when he

watched her tongue slip out to lick her lips he knew he wanted her tonight.

He was leaving in the morning and would be gone for at least three

months, what the hell did it matter if he fucked her tonight? He needed it

and he knew she wanted it. He could tell by every glance she gave him that

she was still in love with him.

When her eyes opened and met his she tensed at how close he was.

He smiled and pushed his hair back behind his ear.

"Hey you." He offered nostalgically.

"Hey you."

There was a quiet tremor of nervous confusion that shook her naturally

gentle tone and when she suddenly felt him leaning into her she panicked

and turned her face away from him.

"Ev." He was still grinning and when his warm fingers skimmed over her

jaw she felt a shock of desire run up her skin. "There you are."

His eyes were full of understanding and history and they both knew he was

asking for her permission.

She didn't answer and he took that as a yes.

He slid his hand under her shirt and tickled her hip, when she squirmed

with a giggle her body bucked against his. Impulsively he pushed his lips

against hers. It had been awhile since he had kissed her. Her mouth was

familiar and her body was oddly comforting. Despite it being only months

ago since they had last been together he had almost forgotten how her

plump bottom lip got in the way of his tongue. With slight annoyance he

depend their kiss, his body reacting and reminding him how badly he

wanted to get laid.

Evelyn had never had sex with anyone other than him. Sure she had made

out with a few guys here and there, her dorky Greek history TA, that

random frat guy at a party right after the first time she and Ian had broken

up. But she had never let her self get close enough to anyone else to share

the most vulnerable and insecure parts of her self. She had loved Ian

immediately and although they had been through several stages of

relationships over the years including multiple break ups he had always

remained one of her closest friends. They had something together; millions

of moments and memories that all added up to a history. No matter what

happened between them Ev had always promised her self she would stick

around for his friendship. Lately things had been tense between them,

stuck in a quasi romantic limbo they had been dancing the line of friends

who occasionally slept together. If she could have been honest with her self

at that moment she would have admitted that she hated it. She was in a

constant state of confusion and conflicting emotions. She wanted a

commitment he wanted a warm body.

He would be gone in the morning, on another continent for at least three

months. If she did this now with him where would she end up in the

equation?

"James." His voice was low and his breath was warm on her face.

She opened her eyes to a curtain of red hair and met his gaze.

"You don't really seem into this."

"Im sorry," she nibbled the corner of her already swollen lip. "I just get stuck

in my head sometimes. You know how I get."

"Well come out here and join me, I'm sure you'll have more fun."

She grinned as his long callused fingers slowly undid the buttons on her

shirt one by one. His hands were cold and she jumped when they slid up

her sides and around to her back.

When he moved on top of her his mouth was on hers again, this time more

frantic and desperate.

Hours later in the dimness of the early morning Ev was wide awake with

self condemnation and regret hot on her heels. Every time she gave into

whatever it was you could call what they had done she wondered if she

were loosing pieces of her self.

She was twenty four, had a college degree and her own apartment, why

the hell did she feel like a stupid sixteen year old girl then? Ian would be

gone in less than three hundred minutes, she would be alone, and it was

going to hurt.

A part of her knew that when he toured he never had a lack of company.

None of the guys did, they were fairly popular, young, and attractive, made

even more so by the fact that they were supposedly brooding artist. It killed

her to think of him with other girls but they weren't dating, he wasn't hers

and there was nothing she could do about that.

"Did you even sleep?" His voice was low and serious.

Startled she turned towards him and met his eyes. How long had he been

watching her she wondered in the silent space that seemed to be a vast

canyon of separation between them.

"I don't know." She lied.

"Yes you do."

"Fine. Not really. "

"Ev, why do you do that to your self?"

She didn't answer.

"Why can't you just enjoy things? Why do you have to label things, and

make everything so black and white.?"

"Why don't you?"

There was already a lump in her throat. The one thing she refused to do

was cry in front of him, about him.

His lip twitched into a sad grin and he reached across the valley of her bed

and pulled her to him.

He sighed deeply and put a kiss on top of her head.

"Sweet baby James, I don't know what to do with you."

The sting of truth in his words cut her more deeply then she knew he had

intended.

"How many times have we tried?"

"A few." Was all she could get out.

"You know I love you."

She closed her eyes at the knife that was twisting in her heart.

"This thing with us, it's just," he paused searching for words. "Look I need

you in my life okay, what would I do with out you?"

"Ian," she was going to say this even if it killed her. "I can't keep doing this."

"What's so great about a commitment, why do you need it so bad?"

"Why am I not good enough?"

Ian sat up with a sharp movement and pushed his hands through his hair

angrily."Fuck. Ev, why do you say shit like that? You know how much shit I have

going on right now, how much pressure I'm under. You saying that, it just

adds to all people in my life demanding things from me."

Evelyn took a deep breath attempting to rein in her leaking emotions.

"Ian, I can't just be your fuck buddy."

"Don't be crass James."

"But is that what we are?" For once she was not willing to back down. "Am I

just one of your groupies?"

Ian glared at her and bit his fingernails a telling sign that he was nervous.

Ev tucked the blanket under her arms and sat upright against the head

board.

"I'm not you know. I could never be one of them," she paused and flashed

him an intensely wuthering look. "So don't treat me like one."

"Why are you doing this right now, I'm literally leaving in a few hours."

He got to his feet and she watched as he haphazardly shuffled and

bumped naked around the still darkened room. His pale skin almost

glowed in the dawn light and she held in a laugh as he tried to find his

underwear.

"What are you doing?"

Finding them finally, he quickly slipped them on and then began searching

the floor for the rest of his clothes.

"I'm getting dressed, what does it look like I am doing."

Panicked that he was actually going to leave she attempted to summon her

remaining courage.

"Don't go." She demanded.

"I just don't know what you expect from me, what do you want James?"

Her heart beat sped up and suddenly her mouth was dry, this was it.

"I just want," she swallowed, her mind going blank and her tongue

forgetting the words she wanted to say. Her eyes met his. Just minutes ago she knew exactly what she wanted but the way he looked at her now the

fear and insecurity of her own that was being reflected back at her through

his face.

When she didn't finish her sentence he slid onto the bed beside her and

she felt his warm hand brush the hair off her bare shoulder.

"Its okay, I think I understand. And, Ev, look at me." His fingertips caressed

softly up her neck and tipped her chin up to his face. "When I get back we

will talk, we can figure this all out, we will. Okay?" he searched her face for

a hint, hoping this was what she wanted to hear.

She stared back at him with an impassive expression.

"Don't just say that and not mean it."

He smiled, knowing he had won her over.

"Of course not, I mean it, and hey," he leaned in close to her like he was

about to share a secret. "Do you know that you happen to have my favorite

pair of eyes ever?"

She frowned and then with a sigh gave into the grin that was tugging at her

lips.

"Ah, ha. There it is."

He kissed her a few times and then his hands were tugging at the sheet

covering her chest.

"What's this, come on, no one needs it, get it out of here."

Her skin pricked at the cool air and she giggled as he pulled her down onto

the bed and started tickling her ribs.

"Ev, come on, stop laughing. What is so funny."

He was on top of her now holding her down and when he rubbed his beard

on her neck she began to scream and try to wiggle her self away from him.

"Evelyn James, this is serious! Stop laughing." His stern façade cracked

and he smiled as he kissed her. They had sex one more time before he got in the shower, and as she fixed

them both coffee she felt a few of the knots that had been tying in her

stomach for days slowly start to untangle.

It was going to work this time, she just knew it. A smirk of satisfaction

worked over her expression. He loved her, and this would be the last time

she would have to say goodbye to him.

She walked him down to the front of her building where a cab was waiting

that would take him back to get his bag then on to the airport.

"Are you sure you don't want me to come to the airport?"

"Na," he squeezed her hand. "You wouldn't be able to get past the check

in."

"Okay." Her voice caught.

Damn it. She didn't want to cry in front of him.

"No, James, don't start."

"Sorry." She shoved the tears away from her cheeks.

"Take care of your self, wash your clothes more than once, and try not to

be such a dick to the guys okay."

"Listen to you, of course I'll be a dick! It's my right as a base player to wear

my sunglass indoors at night and be a ass hole to everyone!"

"They are going to love you guys." Evie smiled with true sincerity and she

threw her arms around his torso and hugged him with all the strength she

had.

"Easy there killer."

He held her tightly and put a kiss on her forehead.

After a few more jokes and kisses the cab driver cleared his throat and Ian

opened to door of the cab.

"Hey if you call, I'll answer."

She rolled her eyes and pushed him into the back seat.

They gave each other one last look, a small wave and then he was gone.

She would miss almost everything about him, and he would miss her tits

and the way she made him feel.

Standing motionless on the sidewalk she stared into the bright morning sky.

They weren't dating but they had a future. Together. Hugging her arms

around her self against the cold she turned and almost ran up the stairs

back to her apartment. Once she was locked inside she fully gave into the

tears and dozens of different emotions bouncing around inside of her.

Throwing her self down on the couch she cried until the flood dried and the

sleep came.

Please please help us by leaving feedback. We would love to hear your thoughts! Thanks so much!


	4. Chapter 4

"Oh, shit"

Adam huffed to him self as he locked his door and ran down the stairs. Was he really going to do this? Was today the day? It was unreasonably warm this morning and for an instant he thought maybe it would be more wise to go running at ten a.m. then his normal five a.m.

But that alternative only drifted in and then out of his head, as his legs began to move across familiar pavement.

He liked running before anyone else was out, before cars clattered to life and ruined the stillness of the air.

No, today, this stupid thing he was about to do, it was a one time thing. He would try, but only because Hannah was right, he did need to find a way to move on with his life. Something needed to be done, a connection had to be forged or he would drive him self crazy. He knew he had been bordering on the verge of creepy stalker. He'd seen it in the way Drew smiled tightly and looked away from him at dinner last night. Hannah on the other hand, well thank God for Hannah. She at least played along, or on some level understood his pathetic fascination.

For days now his brothers girlfriend had been pushing him to try and meet the cute girl that took care of his neighbors kids.

His admittedly sick and fragile position in life had been in a constant state of frenzied consumption since his first minutes of observing her. The way her hip seemed to be curved and carved for the specific and express purpose of balancing a baby. Her smile, how even at a distance it was warm and genuine. How her long waves of nut meg hair were constantly in both of their way. His favorite time of day was between the hours of two p.m. to three p.m. The twins were usually both awake and in high spirits which meant an entire sixty minuets in which he could greedily ingest what were to him silent screams of unadulterated laughter. The babies were just learning to role over and hold them selves up, soon Hannah had said they would probably be crawling. But for now Adam could watch and take in the beautiful simplicity of wonder and joy on their chubby cheeks as they played and explored. For them the world was warm, bright, and full of possibility. Perhaps that was part of the draw, part of what kept his mind incredulously busy day after day as he stared out his window.

He had no idea which direction they were going, or how he would find them or even if he would find them. But he had to try. He had watched with nervous excitement this morning the long task of getting both babies ready for a walk. The fear of knowing this was it, that this was his chance to leap from observer to participant was enough to send him running in the direction of the corner store and into the calming numbness of a bottle but he had come to far now. He couldn't have her and it at the same time. The harsh realization stabbed at him as he reached the end of his side of the block. He could never have what he wanted most if it meant giving up what he knew he needed now.

A fleeting memory slipped past his defenses. She had been barley visible on his neighbors living room couch with one of the twins draped over her, it's tinny round head nestled on her chest. They were both asleep. With a shattered pain in his chest that threatened to undo everything in that moment, he had realized then that he wanted them. He wanted those people to be his people. He hadn't quite understood then, and he wasn't sure he fully understood now. But what he did know was that today he was taking a giant leap across a chasm of loneliness and built up walls that had started to crack and crumble the night he almost died.

With renewed vigor and resolution he quickened his pace. His eyes searching and studying every thing and everyone around him. He had to find them, and some how he had to meet her.

With a stitch wincing in his side and sweat working over his brow his heart began to sink. He had been around the city block that made up their quaint neighborhood twice now and there was no sign them. Cutting across the small grassy area that the city had the nerve to call a park Adam slowed his frantic run to a dejected walk. Surely she wouldn't have taken the twins outside of their small burrow of row houses and apartment buildings. The Chicago weather had been slightly unpredictable lately and for December to have a rare sunny snow free week like this one had been was whipping it's inhabitants into a false sense of security. Any day now Adam could feel that winter would be rearing it's biting vengeance on them. This might have been his only reprieve in the cold, icy season ahead of them that he would have to see her face to face.

Disappointed he worked his way down a small path that other runners had been cutting through the grass long before he had discovered the short cut that would put him almost directly in front of his building. He liked to go this way because there was a tinny clearing surrounded by small trees and every so often he would sit in it and imagine that he was in Ohio, back when his family was whole and life was far less complicated. There had been a similar plot of land close to his childhood home and he would follow his older brothers in earnest, his small legs always working over time to keep up with Eliot's. For some reason he never remembered that it had been Drew who would stick close to him never letting him fall or get left behind. No, he had always been focused on Eliot, the leader of the pack, his hero. Eliot was five whole years older than he was and that fact alone made him the ultimate person of interest in Adams eyes, the one he wanted to emulate and mimic. They would go to the clearing by their house and hide out from their parents, hours were passed pouring over comic books and sneaking candy that would ruin their dinner. He was mostly to young to read back then but Drew would always make sure he knew who the good guys and bad guys were.

The sound of crying broke through Adams thoughts and for a moment the sad whimpering was all around him. Stopping abruptly to listen for the source he followed the sniffling sobs.

Nothing in his twenty-eight years could prepare him for the sight that lay before him now. A young woman sat cross legged on a blanket, a tinny squirming bundle in her arms. He would have known her profile anywhere even with the pink tear stained tracks that now took over her features. His stomach dropped and before he could process what was fully happening he was striding towards them. As he got close he could see the other twin lying sprawled in a frustrated mass on the quilt at the girls right. Everyone was crying. Every last one of them, and with all the fearlessness of a fireman rushing into a burning building Adam made his approach.

"Ummm, Miss? Are you alright?" his voice was deep yet hesitant.

The woman made a slight jolt of surprise as she turned suddenly towards the large man beginning to crouch down next to her.

"I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to frighten you" he reached out towards her but then thought better of it. "Are you alright? Can I help you?"

The babies were beginning to whine louder now and she knew action was needed but found her self frozen in the force of two bright blue eyes searching hers. She had seen this man before, and something inside her clicked and reassured her that he could be trusted. His face was kind and serious, and he wanted to help. She stared at him a moment longer, he was so beautiful. The urgency in his stance along with the earnestness of his gaze brought more tears to her eyes. She needed to get ahold of her self. The babies. They were screaming and she needed to calm them. It was so hard when they both went off at the same time, it seemed she never had enough arms for everyone.

"Thank you. " she found her self breathing in a gasp. "Could you just grab LuLu, for me?" she pointed.

The man's eyes flashed to the baby at her feet. Panic raced across his features and he let out a stilted mumble of "Umm, I," but then it was lost as Lucy let out a shattering cry, demanding to be picked up.

Adam had no idea what he was doing. Damn it! Anything but this! His hand shook as he mimicked the woman's position on the blanket and slowly reached for the baby.

"How do you umm,"

"Just scoop her up like a football, support her neck and hold her close to you." The woman encouraged distractedly.

Following her command he did as he was told. The squishy, wiggling form of LuLu in his arms was like nothing he had ever experienced. He was terrified of holding her with too much force as well as not enough. He had never held a baby in his life; why did they cry to be held but then bend and squirm when you had a hold of them like they just wanted to escape? He glanced across from him to see the way the woman held the other baby. She cradled him close to her heart and rested her cheek on his small bald head all the while shushing him with quiet gentleness. Attempting to do the same he squeezed the tinny person in his grasp close to his chest and glanced down at her for the first time. She had stopped struggling against him and instead began to quiet her self and gaze up at him with wide eyed curiosity.

LuLu, Adam thought she was called was fair skinned with round perfectly pink angel cheeks and big deep brow eyes. In that moment as her miniature hand reached for his chin and the dimples of a smile appeared on her face he thought she was one of the most gorgeous girls he had ever seen. Adam and baby Lucy were taken with one another almost immediately. From that second on a new place in both their hearts had become occupied by each other. Lucy's little fingers tickled over the scratchy stubble on Adams chin and she let out a gurgled hum of communication.

The young woman who had been watching this exchange smiled brightly as a fresh wave of emotions worked their way to her wet eyes.

"She likes you." The woman encouraged with a cracked voice.

The man's lips curved upward with a slight grin of pleasure but then his eyes, intense and questioning met her gaze so directly that the woman felt her skin begin to burn. She could see in the set of his strong jaw and the tightness of his shoulders, that this stranger wanted to know why she was upset. She turned away from him and down to the fussy baby in her arms; if she hadn't the man would have seen it all. It was impossible for her to hide any of her feelings when she was like this.

Mustering up what self control she could at least for little Benjamin's sake she swallowed hard and then began to hum. The humming soon gave way to low singing and she closed her eyes in an attempt to out run the embarrassing reality that a handsome man was staring at her.

He was indeed staring.

Adam couldn't help him self. This was his first chance to really take her in up close. Because she wasn't looking he allowed his gaze to travel the length of her. Her face was a rounded heart coming to a delicate point at her chin. With a straight nose and larger bottom lip she looked younger than she probably was. The skin on her neck was the color of cream, smooth and tender. As she swayed the baby in her arms he couldn't help but notice how her blouse had fallen off center revealing more of her chest then she probably would have liked for him to see. The sight was unavoidable. A gentleman would have averted his eyes. But Adam wasn't sure he was a gentleman, and he wondered fiercely what it would feel like to touch her.

He had spent so much time watching her sing but never hearing her. While her voice was soft and rich it was also slightly off key. She didn't have the most beautiful singing voice he'd ever heard but the level of sincerity with which she brought each verse out was enough to cause the sensation of comfort and warmth to radiate from his gut into his skin.

Benjie had ceased his frustration and was growing heavy and limp with each rock of her body. Maybe they were both calm enough now for her to try talking. She stopped singing and tentatively raised her eyes to the man sitting across from her.

Adam looked away from her quickly and down to a sleeping LuLu hoping the woman hadn't caught where his gaze had been trained.

"I'm Ev by the way."

"Ev?" he repeated in confusion.

"Well, Evelyn, but everyone calls me Ev, or Evie, because Evelyn is an old lady name."

He smiled at her now with genuine light, it met in his eyes and hung in the air.

"Evelyn. I don't think that's an old lady name. It's old world maybe. I'm Adam." His eyes were gone from hers now and Ev thought that she could see a red tint rush to his face as he said "I think we might be neighbors."

"Nice to meet you Adam." Both their heart beats picked up as his name traveled over her lips. "Yes, I think I've seen you in their mom and dad's building."

"You mean they aren't yours?" Adam asked stupidly, knowing full well that they were not.

"No, they aren't" she answered almost sadly. "I'm the nanny. Emily and David Littleton, they are your neighbors."

"I think I've talked to David a few times, but I don't think I've ever met, Emily was it?"

Evie licked her lips with agreement then quickly blurted out, " I've seen you, in the mornings sometimes, running."

He nodded his head in recognition and she noticed the way his eyes crinkled at the corners a little when he grinned.

"I like to go early, before most people are awake."

"Except me, I'm awake."

Awkward. Why was she being so awkward? He is so pretty she thought with giddiness. When he made no attempt at a response she cringed at her own remark. Her shoulders falling forward with embarrassment.

Adams eyes were like darts trained on Evie as if he could fire them at will and see straight into her. His curiosity was at a fevered pitch and he could no longer hold him self back, he had to know.

"Why were you crying?"

He knew he was being forward possibly even rude, but he didn't want to waste time with social or personal conventions. He had no idea who she really was, how much time he would get with her or if there would ever be another time. He watched, looking for any detail to put the pieces of her together into some sort of shape that made sense to him.

Her cheeks were hot with the color of exertion that baring emotions brings and she trained her eyes carefully on the small child asleep in Adams able bodied arms. When she didn't answer immediately he didn't push; at least with his voice. Again Evie was struck with the keen feeling that this person, this random guy she had seen but never met could be trusted. With one quick glance at his face she allowed the thoughts she'd been having to rush out of her mouth.

"I just love them," she gestured to her tinny charges. "and I started thinking about how I want to have a family, someday, but then I got really scared."

"Scared?" Adam repeated incredulously.

"I mean what if it never happens for me? What if I don't get to have them, what if this is all I get?"

Her eyes began to well up again even as massive confusion worked it's way through Adams mind.

"Get to have who?"

"Babies." Evie sniffed as a fresh feeling of dread and loss wove it's way through her chest.

Adam was not at all equipped to deal with this many and this level of emotions, and that was just what he was feeling. His brain was dizzy with panic and want, what could he say or do? It made him uncomfortable just to hear the word babies, and now he had allowed him self to be roped into holding one. There was a part of him that saw and envied what Drew had. He had a life, people that loved him, depended on him. Adam had thought at one time the last thing he ever wanted in the world were people he had to answer to. Before he could respond to her declaration she went on.

"See my mom died when I was twelve. She had ovarian cancer, and I worry so much some times,"

"That you will too." Adam finished with a heavy tone.

Evie nodded once and stared at him through red rimmed eyes.

They were hazel. He hadn't noticed until now, but they were clear and honest. She was completely open to him, she hid nothing and gave everything.

"I'm sorry about your mom." The force of his words didn't fully land on either of them until he found himself adding, "I grew up without my father."

Damn it. He didn't even know this woman. Why was he telling her this.

"Did he pass away?"

Evie watched Adams jaw tense and his eyes harden where just a moment before she had seen a heart broken boy. She knew the answer before he spoke it.

"No. Well, yes, he did eventually. But before that, we left him." His gaze traveled to a place behind her and she heard the anger in his sigh "I haven't seen him since I was seven."

The weight and tension in his neck twitched visibly as he felt a rush of embarrassment and fear prickle under his skin. Her eyes softened with understanding and choosing to reject her offering he looked away.

A new round of wetness came gliding down her cheek even as she chided her self for feeling the sting of his dismissal. She swiped quickly at her eyes before he could see and sniffed once in an attempt to gather her thoughts.

"Your young, I'm sure you will have plenty of time for;" Adam paused with discomfort "Babies."

"My mom died when she was thirty four. That gives me about ten years."

"But you aren't your mother, just because that was her story doesn't mean that it will be yours as well!" His voice shook and he swallowed down the lump of frustration building in his chest.

The potency of his defense was not lost on either of them and Evie suspected he had said it for his own benefit as much as hers.

Lucy stirred at his sudden out bust and he felt her tinny body wriggle in his arms. Panicked, his eyes flashed to Evie.

"It's okay," she whispered with the hint of a grin. "Just hold her close to your chest and rock a little. Like this." She demonstrated.

Adam studied her movements intently and repeated her exactly. Again he wondered what the hell he was doing here.

"Do you want to have kids Adam?"

Where in the hell did that come from, he wondered silently. She was getting more direct and personal with every moment that passed. Although he could appreciate her fourth coming he also found it unbecoming of her agreeably pretty face. Suddenly the urge was pooling in the back of his mouth. His need spiking and churning with every intake of breath.

"I don't know." He lied.

Evie could see the untruthfulness in his eyes, but she could also see the fear.

"Well, your doing a great job. Although," she tried not to let the laugh building in her stomach escape, "it does look like your extremely uncomfortable."

He glanced across at her with a frown.

"Have you ever a held a baby before?"

"No."

"Just loosen your shoulders a bit, relax. If your tense the baby will be tense."

"How did you get to be so good at it?" He asked with a slightly bruised ego.

"I'm not really sure actually."

"Just a natural then?"

There was a teasing in his voice and when she met his gaze again she smiled.

"I don't believe anyone is a natural at anything. Whatever is worth doing comes with practice and hard work."

"Alright then," Adam shrugged with an amused smirk. "You just practiced a lot?"

Benjie made a noise and then stretched his small body, slowly opening his eyes.

"Hi there, cutie pie." She cooed and brushed a gentle finger over the babies cheek.

Adam again found himself in the habit of watching, at least this time the sound was on. As the baby in Evelyn's arms continued to slowly come to life he smiled brightly with awe at the woman holding him. She shuffled him up right in her arms and Benjie burrowed his head into her chest. Lifting him up again she rubbed her nose delicately against his. A vague memory of his grandmother came to Adams mind, and he remembered being tucked in at night with an Eskimo kiss and an I love you a bushel and peck. Smiling at the brightness of the memory and the moment that was unfolding before him now he let out a low chuckle. Benjie was a rumble of a giggles which prompted Evie to begin laughing rather uncontrollably. The baby let his head fall onto Evie's sternum as if it were a game of peak a boo and Adams gaze was drawn to her breasts once again. A peel of desire tickled and coiled deep in his body and for a moment he was lost in a vision of his own head resting comfortably against her warmth able to hear and feel the hum and pitch of her heart beat.

Indifighnable resolution and determination mounted in Adams mind, he wanted it. All of it; her, the babies she wanted, answering to other people for the decisions and choices he made, if it could just be with her, he would be willing. The actuality of this new hunger burned and ached almost as bad as the pain of his addiction and he wondered if it would be worth it. Sacrificing himself wasn't something he had ever been attracted to. It was messy, and unpredictable and his instincts told him it would hurt.

Her eyes met his with shining clarity and he nervously fought the urge to look away fearing that she might guess everything about him.

Her cheeks burned bright and instead it was Evie that broke his blue laser beam focus. As naked as her gaze made him, she felt her hopes rise and then fall every time she looked at him. There was no way he was attracted to her, yet there was something she couldn't talk her self out of when she caught him staring at her. The expectation that he could feel as remotely drawn to her as she was to him seemed highly unlikely in her distorted interpretation.

She had always doubted her self. Wasn't that one of the things that had led her so astray in her youth? Wasn't that what had driven her to be so unkind and unforgiving to her body? Again she felt those same loathsome pangs of hate for her self and desire for control worm their way into her consciousness. She inhaled sharply and closed her eyes hoping to keep the selfishness at bay.

Adam had never met anyone who gave them selves away as freely as the woman in front of him, it was simultaneously intimidating and inspiring. In all the months of recovery he now saw before him what he had been working towards. Emotional freedom and hope. She was a living breathing goal for him to aspire to and set his mind on. His veins filled with fire and intention. He wanted her to be the one to help him, to teach him, to be his reward for being the person he knew he was becoming.

She stroked her fingers lovingly over Benjie's cheek and down the length of his small frame and he curled him self against her. Adam wanted to tell her she was beautiful, but it would have been inappropriate and inadequate.

"It's almost lunch time, and I think Benjie here is getting cold, I better get them back home."

Adams excitement dulled at her words and he realized that his time was almost up. He turned to the sweet face below wrapped in his arms. She was once again sleeping soundly and he marveled at the trust that new humans were forced to have and he thought maybe that's why they came out being cute, so that people would have no choice but to love and protect them.

He followed Evie's lead and gingerly rose to his feet.

"Do you mind walking us back?"

"Not at all." He said in quiet voice.

Benjamin was strapped into the stroller and Adam made a move to hand off Lucy when Evelyn tentatively asked if he would carry her back, worried she might wake up if they tried to put her in the stroller.

He nodded his agreement and the four of them set off on the path he had taken alone into the clearing.

Evie couldn't control her self any more and she reluctantly smiled as she watched the handsome well built man holding a baby walk next to her.

"What?" Adam asked hoping he didn't look as stupid as he felt.

"Nothing," Ev laughed with embarrassment. "Its just that, well, you and Lu, it makes for a sweet picture."

What Evie really could have said was that she felt like her ovaries could explode at any minute.

"Oh, yeah?" Adam smirked sideways at her. "I feel ridiculous."

"Oh no. Believe me, a baby looks good on you."

She stopped abruptly and grabbed her phone.

"See, I'll show you."

She quickly snapped a photo and then took a step towards him.

"See?"

She held the phone in between them.

This was the closest she had ever been to him.

He noticed then how easily Evie would fit next to him and how soft her hair looked.

"I'll send you the picture, what's your number?"

He couldn't stop the grin forming on his face. She was asking him for his phone number.

He rattled it off to her and within seconds the phone buzzed in his pocket.

"Do you still feel up set?" he asked concerned as they neared the building.

"Not nearly as much."

"Good." He said genuinely relieved.

They walked side by side in silence the rest of the way, both trying to desperately avoid the other one catching them stair, and when they reached the entrance to where she would leave him, he wracked his brain for some reason he could ask to see her again.

"Adam," she said his name gently "it was very nice to meet you, and thank you for your help."

She opened her arms for Adam to place Lucy into and he reluctantly complied immediately feeling the loss of warmth and comfort the baby had provided him.

"Ah, yeah," he cleared his throat "it was nice to meet you as well."

Awkwardly he handed her the baby their arms overlapping and getting tangled. In the process of trying to free his grip Adam felt his hand press into Evie's chest. In a split second several things seemed to happen at once. Her face colored and she jumped twitching with surprise,even as the heat of embarrassment and enjoyment flamed through his body. Realizing he was essentially still touching her breast he pulled his hand away quickly and stuttered an apology. She assured him it was okay with the hint of a laugh and he tried not to let the tingling sensation working up his arm go straight to other more sensitive parts of his body. Lucy let out a cry as soon as she realized she was not in Adams arms anymore and he frowned feeling responsible for her happiness.

"If you ever want company on a walk let me know."

"Yeah, maybe." Evie smiled.

They parted ways and Adam took the stairs to his apartment three at a time. He sweated out the urge to give in to his previous temptations, and instead took out his phone and opened the text message he had from a number he didn't know. He committed the image of him self and Lucy to memory as well as Evelyn's phone number. When he glanced out his living room window out of habit his gaze went directly to where it always did, but now he knew her name and the sound of her voice.

Please leave me some feedback. What do you think of the story/ characters so far? What do you think of Evie? Thanks for reading, would love to hear your thoughts.


	5. Chapter 5

Ev's phone buzzed to life indicating she had a text. She ignored it and continued reading the book she was attempting to get into for third time in as many days. At what point should she just give up she wondered? The historical fiction was good and she loved all the names and true life happenings of old Hollywood sprinkled throughout the story, but something just wasn't clicking for her.

When her phone sparked to life once again she sighed heavily and plopped the lacking work of fiction down in front of her and rolled to the other side of her bed.

She stared at her phone momentarily frozen in fear and excitement. Opening the text messages she tried to steady her racing heart.

Adam neighbor: Hey I know we just met today and it's sort of late and toward of me, but anyway you would want to meet for some coffee?

Adam neighbor: This is Adam by the way.

Of course as soon as she had gotten back to Emily and David's she had programed the handsome neighbors number into her phone. She hadn't even been thinking when she asked for his phone number. Normally she would agonize and over think to the point of becoming paralyzed when it came to making any move on a guy she was attracted to. But with out a thought in her head she had scored a picture of him and his number.

She read his messages again, heat bubbling up her neck and into her eye sockets. This was crazy! Was he crazy!? He seemed fairly normal. But why did he want to see her? She looked at the time, it was only eight, if this was his idea of late what time did he think was appropriate? She chewed on the corner of her lip debating weather or not accept the invitation. She had only met him this morning and she didn't even know his last name.

She grunted audibly, why did he have to be so damn hot?!

Evelyn: Hi, it's not late and I could get coffee. Meet you at Filter in 30min?

Her stomach did a somersault as she waited for his response.

It was immediate and she smiled at the idea that maybe he had been waiting just as nervously by his phone as she had been.

Adam neighbor: Great, meet you there.

She ran around her house, changing her clothes twice and brushing her teeth. When she looked her phone again for the time she realized she only had ten minutes before she was suppose to meet him.

She cursed under her breath and slid into a pair of her favorite boots. Checking her face one more time in the mirror she focused all her energy on trying to stay away from the negative things she saw and heard in her mind. Positive thoughts she chanted, internally reminding her self that she was valuable and worth noticing.

Most of the time she hated what she saw in her reflection but tonight she wanted to be free from that. She didn't want to let her own vanity and need for control ruin what could possibly be a genuine connection with another person. As she walked purposefully from her car towards her favorite coffee shop she intentionally went over her expectations and whittled them down to almost nothing. She would meet Adam, drink something hot and Christmassy and enjoy those bright blue eyes of his.

Adam had taken a cab to Filter as soon as she had answered him, afraid that if he had walked there his feet might have taken him some place he wanted to go but knew he shouldn't.

His anger at Drew and Hannah, even as well meaning as they were, still itched under the collar of his wool coat. Where the hell did they get off talking about him like he wasn't even there? Even after all this time Drew was still trying to pretend that he knew what was best. The frustration and claustrophobia of the entire dinner was starting to pool in the back of his throat and his esophagus burned with the memory of what whiskey felt like in his belly. His leg began to bounce uncontrollably and suddenly he couldn't think. The taste of sweat was on his lips and he closed his eyes praying in some way he would make it through the valley of need.

"Can you go any faster?" he heard himself ask the cabbie.

When there was no response Adam gripped the door handle and sunk lower into the back seat nausea blanketing his entire body.

Remember everything you could loose if you don't get it together he told him self repeatedly.

Pink cheeks, deep in a blush were in his mind now. The way Evie had looked at him when he had touched her chest in a happy accident earlier that day. Her eyes had lit with surprise and his fingers had tingled for several minutes even after he had walked away from her. He tried to focus in on the details of how it had all felt, how finally after days of observing her he had actually been with her face to face. He was surprised at how gentle her voice was. Unlike himself, she let her emotions show freely and even now he was still arrested at the depth of her gaze. He couldn't wait to be near her again.

When the cab came to a jarring halt Adams eyes snapped open to the driver glaring at him from the rear view mirror.

"Fifteen eighty." He commanded with a gravel voice.

Adam dug in his pocket for his wallet and with a shaking hand pulled out a twenty dollar bill.

"Keep the change." He shoved the paper into the drivers grimy out stretched paw of a hand.

He slid out as quickly as he could with out tripping onto the pavement, slamming the car door behind him. His knees felt like they were made of silly puddy and he took a deep cleansing breath of cold air trying in vain to make his body work the way it was meant to. His tongue rolled in desperation, longing for the relief of anything that might occupy his taste buds.

There were floor to ceiling windows giving him clear sight directly into the coffee shop. His eyes darted around searching for a figure he knew all to well through windows. She wasn't here yet. Damn it.

But maybe that was a good thing. At least he had a chance now to try and pull him self together. Maybe he would be able to hide his addiction from her for at least a few more hours. Gaining control he took a few steps towards the entrance and pulled the door open. Heat and the thick, almost dirty smell of coffee beans enveloped his scenes immediately, and the tension in his neck muscles relaxed slightly as he walked purposefully to the counter.

The girl behind the espresso machine had noticed him before he had entered the shop and her smile widened when she realized he was walking directly to her.

"Hi," she flushed as Adam's

intent eyes met her.

"Coffee. Black." He barked more then asked.

"Would you like it in a mug, or,"

"It doesn't matter." He interrupted, plunking his card down on the counter.

He knew he was being rude, but he didn't care enough for frivolous social pleasantries in his current state. Besides it would take every ounce of strength he had just to try and act normal when Evelyn arrived.

She slid the mug of black salvation over the wooden counter to him and he mustered a thanks before chugging half of it and burning his mouth in the process.

" Shit," he cursed under his breath.

"Yeah, it's hot." The girl handed his card back.

She rolled her eyes once and before she could walk away Adam ordered another coffee the same way and a turkey sandwich.

He finished his first cup before she was done handing him his second and he waited for the rest of his order with his back to her watching the door, completely oblivious to the fact that three other woman in coffee shop were staring at him.

Two cups of coffee, a sandwich and a cookie later Evie still hadn't shown up. Adam had found a spot on a couch that overlooked the entrance and the vast wall of windows that made up the face of the shop. He glanced at his phone checking the time, she was seven minutes late. He swallowed hard, wondering if maybe she wouldn't meet him after all. He had never been stood up before. He had always been the no show in the equation and suddenly a guilty feeling flooded over him. Months ago he had come to terms with the fact that he had been an ass hole to woman. He had looked after his own interests and never cared much for more then a flirtation that usually lead to his bed and nothing else. He felt the hot sting of embarrassment worm in his gut as his jaw tightened with a fresh longing for old comforts.

He liked her. A lot. Hannah had helped him realize his obsession was more than a casual intellectual curiosity. He had been observing her for dayss and there were things he knew about her that made it hard for him to believe that Evelyn would treat someone the way he used to. She was kind, warm, and gentle. She represented all the hope he had. Hope that he could be different, hope that maybe he wasn't to far gone for a future he hadn't even known he wanted until today. He knew he was bad for her, and he knew he was ill equipped and inexperienced when it came to actually giving anything of him self, but she made him want to try.

The door of the shop opened, he was on his feet, and Evelyn was walking towards him, a shy grin arching over her face. He was smiling too, when had that happened he wondered running a hand over the stubble on his chin that would be a beard by morning.

Too many things went skittering through Adams mind. He was happy to see her. She hadn't stood him up. He suddenly couldn't remember anything else that had happened this evening. How should he greet her? A handshake, a hug, a European kiss on the cheek, oh shit, he panicked.

"Hey," Evelyn saved him the trouble and waved with a stiff arm. "I'm sorry I'm late. Just so you know, I usually am." She smiled with a wink and shoved her hands into the pockets of her coat.

"No, don't worry it's fine." His eyes were wide as he tried to contain the joy he felt at being in the same place as her again.

"I see I'm behind." She gestured to the small table in front of the couch he had been sitting on.

He turned and looked at the remains of his addled attempt to keep him self occupied and out of a bar.

"Well then let's get you caught up."

He studied her every move as she slid out of her coat and laid in on the opposite side of the couch from where he had been sitting. She turned to him with a questioning eye and he motioned for her to walk ahead of him up to the counter. Adam couldn't deny that his motives were less then gentlemanly, and he stayed a full step behind her so that he could watch the sway of her hips as she walked.

The girl behind the counter looked from Evie to Adam with annoyance, expectantly waiting for him to bark for another black coffee.

"What have you been drinking?" Ev asked with a grin.

"What? Nothing!" Adam answered sharply his mind resetting and realizing she hadn't been accusing him and he had nothing to hide.

This time.

"Coffee. Black." The girl answered snidely for him.

He eyed her darkly and then turned back to Evelyn who let out an amused "Okay."

"What are you going to get?" he tried to change the subject.

"Hum, I think I'm going to have a chai latte with chocolate and peppermint."

The girl behind the counter made a slight face and asked " Are you sure, have you ever had that?"

"I have" Ev beamed "Its amazing. It tastes like Christmas!"

Adam smirked sideways completely taken in by her effervescence.

"I'll have one too."

He paid for their drinks after a small resistance from Evie and they moved down to the other end of the counter to wait for their 'Christmas.'

"I like your dress." Adam openly looked her up and down "Its very festive."

Her cheeks burned almost as red as the fabric that skimmed her body and she swallowed hard, nervous and now self conscious under his complement.

"I like your jacket" she tried to divert, "Were you in the Navy?"

Adam rubbed at the patches on his arm absently.

"No. That would be my grandfather. It's his coat."

"He must be cold then with out it."

Adam grinned at her joke, "He would be, but he passed away awhile ago."

"Oh, I'm so sorry."

"Its okay."

"Was he in world War two?"

"No, Korea."

"Mine too. He taught me how to play poker and smoke cigars."

"Did he?" Adam almost laughed at the vision of the sweet girl next to him with a cigar hanging out of her mouth.

They grabbed their drinks and made their way back to her jacket and his dirty dishes.

When they had made themselves comfortable she turned to him with a skeptical look.

"So Adam, what's your story.?"

"My story?"

"Yeah, who are you?"

"Wow, you don't pull any punches."

"Why waist the time?" she shrugged.

Truthfully she was scared as hell at the moment and every time he looked at her Ev felt her insides turn to emulsified jelly and her mind went as blank as the inside of a cheap card. She was trying desperately not melt on the floor and in the process say something completely stupid. She had decided her best course of action was to let him do the talking.

"What do you want to know?"

"How about everything, and then you can tell me everything."

Adams jaw tensed in a reluctant smirk, and he took a sip from his cup.

"Hum, this does taste like Christmas. How did you come up with those flavors?"

"I used to work at a coffee shop during college, lots of experimenting. You like it?"

He took another drag of the hot spicy liquid, "Yeah, I do actually."

"Good, now don't try to change the subject. Start with the basics, what's you full name?"

"Adam Michael Emerson, and you are?"

"Evelyn James Mitchell."

"James?"

"My dad's middle name. Michael?"

"Navy man's name." Adam patted the patches on his arm again.

"Siblings?"

"Yes."

"Yes what?" Evie let out a laugh.

"Yes I have them."

"And…"

Adam frowned and took another gulp of his drink. His brothers were one of his least favorite topics. There was no way to discuss them without bringing up his addiction and why he deserved to be somewhat estranged from his family at the moment. Sure Drew was trying and Adam could appreciate that, hell on some level he knew he wanted and needed it. But how did he skip around all the years of shit they had been through. Eliot was awkward and short tempered around him now. A stab of pain pricked at his chest as he thought about how angry and disappointed his oldest brother had been at him the last time they had been in the same room together.

He turned now to the beautiful girl seated across from him with a vaguely hopeful grin playing in her features. He didn't want to disappoint her either. With a resigned sigh he let out, " I have two older brothers."

"I've got a brother too."

"Yeah? Is he as big a pain as mine are?"

"Sometimes," she twisted some hair on her finger. "But, for the most part he is sweet and means well. We're pretty close. "

"Older, younger?"

"He is younger, he just started at Purdue actually. It's been hard on my dad having all his kids gone, but I think my step mom is going to enjoy the quiet."

"So your dad remarried?"

"Yeah, about four years ago."

"Is she an evil step-mom?" Adam smirked out of one corner of his mouth.

"No," Ev let out an amused chuckle. " She's fine. I'm happy my dad has the company and someone to look after him. Hey" she paused with wide eyes, "Nice try buddy, we are suppose to be talking about you!"

"Damn, I was hoping you wouldn't notice."

"Oh, you're smooth. That was real slick."

"What can I say, I can deflect with the best."

"Why are your brothers a pain?"

Adam smiled again and shook his head, where should he even start?

"Okay," Ev beamed in understanding, "What are their names?"

"Eliot is my oldest brother, and Drew, well Andrew, is my middle brother."

"Are you guys close?"

"That's a question I don't really know how to answer. I guess we were, at least Drew and I were."

An old sting of bitterness crept in and he pushed himself deeper into the couch.

"Do they still live here?"

"Eliot lives close to our mom in West Rodgers, and Drew has been in California for like twelve years, but he and Hannah, his girlfriend just moved back here a few months ago."

"Wow, really? That must be nice to have them close?"

Adam ran a hand over his chin and shrugged.

"I can't tell yet. Tonight, not so great."

Evelyn smiled slyly. "Care to elaborate on that?"

"Not really, it's part of the reason I asked you for coffee. You're supposed to distract me from how crazy they make me feel."

Ev let out a small surprised giggle and Adam glanced at her seriously.

"Oh, gosh! You're not joking are you?"

Adam sucked his cheek and shook his head. He hadn't meant to say anything about Drew or the dinner he had bailed on earlier in the evening but with one look into her warm eyes he suddenly found himself saying,

"I was at dinner with them tonight, and before the main course had even come out Drew just started laying into me. He does this thing where he thinks he knows what's best for me. He thinks he is right about everything, and then he and Hannah just started arguing about me and talking about me like I wasn't even there! And I just," he paused to tug at the hair skimming his ear. "I fucking hate that!"

Evelyn was silent, then with a sincere shrug she turned her body towards him on the couch and smiled.

"Obviously I don't know your situation at all and I would never presume to tell you anything, except take it from an oldest, it's in our nature to look out for and want to protect our younger siblings. Peter, that's mine, I'm sure if you asked him he would tell you in a second how annoying I am, and that I meddle in his life all the time and that he hates it. But I can also tell you and I think he would agree that it comes from a good place. It comes from wanting to help safe guard from the mistakes we've already made. You know?"

Adam did know. But it didn't make what Drew had done tonight or any other night for that matter easier. Would there ever come a day when Drew and Eliot would stop trying to control him?

He turned to find her watching him, for a change, and realized she was waiting for a response. He took another drag of his almost empty drink, a poor attempt to mask his growing agitation.

"Oh dear, that didn't help, your mad huh? I'm sorry, I probably made it worse, I guess I just did the same thing to you that,"

She was totally rambling, and he looked at her with marked emotions. Unable to do anything else, Adam let out the boisterous laugh that had been threatening to escape since the words 'oh dear' had crossed her lips.

She stared at him.

He laughed harder.

Evelyn smiled because he was beautiful when he laughed, even if she was the joke.

The frustrated tension that had been twisting inside him was gone, only to be replaced by a new one. As he settled himself he noticed her shoulders sag and round, with a shameful expression hiding behind her eyes and he knew that he had somehow unintentionally hurt her. A frown spread on his mouth and his brain worked at how he could please her.

"I'm sorry," he said lightly, "I'm not sure where that came from."

"Its fine." She ran a hand through her hair and plastered over her face with what he knew was a fake grin.

Attempting to work his charm he caught her with unblinking eye contact.

"You know you are sort of adorable when you think someone's mad you."

Evelyn felt heat rush to her face for three reasons; his tractor beam stare had made her feel like she was on a roller coaster she couldn't get off of, she was embarrassed, and she was angry. The condescension in his statement flared red inside her chest and she suddenly saw the two of them clearly. She was attracted to him and he thought she was an adorable, naïve, little dope. This was an all too familiar sight. Wasn't this exactly the way she always ended up in these situations? She stuck around hoping for more, hoping to be seen for once as an irresistible object of love and desire, while they saw her as a patronizingly cute FRIEND. She took a deep breath and stared out the wall of windows. What was wrong with her? Why couldn't guys get past putting her in the friend zone?

"Evelyn?" she heard his voice.

Masking her disappointment she dared to meet his gaze.

"Hum, believe it or not I've heard that before." This time her laugh was convincing.

"So tell me more about Peter?"

They both knew he was trying to change the subject and this time she let him. Her baby brother was something she felt like she could honestly discuss with out fear of giving her heart away and she launched into a brief history of what they were like as children and how proud of him she was.

"Seems like you genuinely get along with and love your brother, that's pretty amazing." Adam observed.

"I guess it is. He is probably my best friend. But we really didn't have a choice, ya know?" Ev's voice hitched as the next words she wanted to say caught in her throat. "When my mom died, we were all each other had."

"What about your dad?"

"I mean yes we had my dad, but he was grieving too. He did a lot of that behind closed doors I think. For a few years he was sort of a robot. He tried really hard for us, but it wasn't until my ea," Ev stopped her self suddenly and folded her hands on her lap.

"Until your what?" Adam asked slowly and deliberately.

There was no way in hell Evelyn was going to tell the perfect man who was essentially still a stranger about the most private part of her life. Thinking quickly she covered over her almost mistake.

"Until early in my junior year." She looked at him hoping he would buy her half truth.

When he nodded for her to go on, she took a moment to collect her straying emotions.

"He sort of just snapped out of it then and we had a slightly different version of our dad back."

"What snapped him out of it?"

"I think he just realized we really needed him, and that mom would have wanted him to be at his best for us."

"and was he?"

There was a slightly acidic tone in Adams voice as the green bite of jealousy colored his vision.

"Yes, for sure. Even more so when he met my step mother."

Father's were a sore subject.

Adams mouth was dry and his craving for a drink was on full blast again. The irony of his inclination to consume the very thing that killed his father and had almost taken him as well was not lost. Even as clinical and true as it was he still lusted for it. Fuck he needed it. Unfortunately his addiction showed it self in physical manifestations sometimes and when he caught her eyes he noticed her countenance had changed.

"Adam? What's wrong?"

Evelyn was leaning towards him a worried glint in her stare. His face was pale and she could see sweat beginning to bead on his brow, not to mention that his right leg was bouncing so hard the couch was shaking.

With a jolt he got to his feet and tried to smile at her reassuringly.

"I need some water! Do you want some water?"

He didn't wait for Evie to answer. He was already speeding towards the bathroom. When he got there he locked the door behind him and went to the sink.

Shit, he thought as he splashed cool water over his face. I look like a fucking zombie. It had been a grueling one hundred and eighteen day since he had last had any alcohol and he still couldn't shake the need he had for it. Would this nightmare never be over? Would he never be able to master his own body? His hands gripped hard onto the cool porcelain of the sink, had he pushed hard enough that he probably could have pulled it out of the wall. She probably thinks I am a psycho now, if she didn't already. His heart rate was spiking and he could feel it begin to pound in his chest. Pacing angrily in the tight space he focused on getting his breathing under control and attempted to clear his mind.

When he finally felt like he was calmed and in his right mind he took another look at him self in the mirror. His face had more color now and he thought there was a chance he could pass for a more normal version of himself.

With one last deep sigh he opened the door and moved into the hallway that led to the rest of the coffee shop.

Just as he began to agonize over what excuse he could possibly give to Evelyn for his behavior she was suddenly thrusting a bottle of water into his hands and slipping into her coat.

"I'm sorry about that." He blurted, panicking that she was about to leave. "I think all the coffee I drank got to me."

"You probably just got dehydrated huh?" she smiled at him sympathetically.

"Yes. I'm sure that was it."

"Are you okay? Did you drive here? If you aren't able, I have my car here, I can take you home."

"No!" he fumbled, "I feel fine now."

Evie grinned and nodded as she turned towards the exit.

"Good I was hoping you would say that."

"You were?" he fallowed her closely confused as to what was happening.

"Yeah. What do you say to some fresh air and," she turned abruptly as he practically tripped over her. "let's go Christmas light hunting!?"

His eyes darted back and forth over her bright and beautiful face. The sheer innocence in her spirit was intoxicating and impossible to resist.

"I was hoping you would say that." He smirked in agreement.

She smiled a wide toothy grin and smacked his arm playfully.

"No you weren't."

They had been driving around for over two hours and had listened through A Charlie Brown Christmas at least four times, and had laughed and exhausted the main get to know you information about their jobs, time in collage, and favorite Christmas movies.

She had gone to Ohio State University and had a major in world history that surprise surprise she wasn't using, much to her father's disapproval.

"I'm just not ready to spend another six to seven years and thousands of dollars whittling my youth away to get a masters and then a doctorate, you know?" he had agreed and secretly thanked God above that she had chosen to be a Nanny instead.

They teased each other and he joked about her knowing the world's history but never having been out of the states, and in return she mercilessly made fun of him for not knowing how to drive.

"I live in the city! Why in the hell would I need to drive? There are cabs everywhere, busses, and the 'L'; I don't need anything else."

As they turned down another street she yelled, "Jack Pot!"

"Oh wow. These people went to town huh?"

"They did! And I freaking love it!"

She was driving very slow now and he tried to watch the lights instead of her, though he failed miserably. The way the colors danced and sparkled over her skin was mesmerizing. He was warm, and safe, and maybe a little in love. The lightness he felt was made of pure contentment and in the moment he couldn't remember if he had ever felt anything like it before.

"What?" she eyed him suspiciously.

"Nothing." Adam smirked unable to hide his giddiness. "I just can't believe you have never seen Christmas Vacation."

He turned to stare out the window. Afraid if he looked at her any more he might say something stupid, like how much he liked her, or how badly he wanted to kiss her.

When she finally dropped him off in front of his building he made her promise to text him when she got home, so he knew she was safe. He had also asked her to come over for dinner the next night, so he could educate her on one of Chevy Chace's better performances and she had accepted.

As he trudged up the stairs to his apartment he actually felt tired and happy. Maybe tonight he would actually get in a full night of sleep.

He slid his key in the lock and began to turn, however the lock was forced open and the door wretched open from the inside out.

Alarmed he stepped back quickly and braced himself for what ever might happen.

"Where in the fucking hell have you been!?"

Drew's face was hard and silent.

Adam seethed with shock and anger. Clinching his jaw he pushed passed his brother into his apartment.

"What are you doing here?" he grabbed his keys out of the dead bolt and shoved them in his jacket pocket.

"Shhhhh!" Drew's attention darted past his brother and into the living room where he could just make out Hannah's sleeping form.

Adam followed his gaze and his frustration softened by a fraction.

"We have been calling and texting you since you ran out of the restaurant, she has been worried sick!"

Adam stared at his brother. What the hell did he want from him? Wasn't Drew the one who should be in the dog house right now? Fuck, his brother was a buzz kill. The natural high of endorphins he had was quickly wearing off and in its wake leaving his body aching and heavy. Screw it, he was sick of fighting with Drew and all he wanted to do right now was fall into his bed.

"Sorry I didn't answer."

His brother stepped into the space directly in front of him and flared his nostrils as he inhaled.

When Adam realized what he was doing a flash of heat spurred white hot through him and it took every ounce of self control he had not to smash Drew's pointy face in.

"Get the fuck away from me." He said in a very low clipped voice.

"You can't blame me." Drew whispered loudly as he back away and shot daggers with eyes.

"The hell I can! Thanks for the vote of confidence by the way!"

"You were with her, weren't you?"

Adam studied his brother, there was a change in his expression and the ridged strain that had been in his stance moments ago had been replaced by subtle relief.

He nodded, and Drew released the breath he had been holding.

"But you're okay? You didn't, drink?" he stumbled on the last word and even though he was whispering Adam heard the frisson of regret floating just under the surface. It hung and lingered in the air between them like really good weed.

"I'm good." Adam answered flatly.

"Is he home yet?"

Hannah's endearing lilt echoed across the room and the two men in the hallway staring at each other broke.

"Yeah babe, he is fine." Drew watched Adam hang his coat in the closet and then fallowed him to the living room.

With sleepy eyes Hannah pointed an accusing finger at the hulking figure hovering above her.

"I was worried about you."

"Sorry to upset you."

"No!" Hannah sat up still not fully awake. "We up set you. I'm so sorry Adam. Babe tell him how sorry we are." She mumbled.

Drew looked sheepishly from Hannah to his little brother and may have even been about to apologize but Adam cut him off, unable to handle any more discussion about what had happened earlier.

"Its fine." He turned to his brother and lowered his voice "Look, you two do whatever you want, go home or stay in the guest room. I don't really care. I'm going to bed."

Without hesitation he turned and made his way down the hall. When he got to his room he shut the door and barley stumbled out of his clothes before he fell into bed. He heard a text alert go off on his phone, and with bleary vision he managed to see that Ev had made it home safe and sound. He quickly typed a thank you and goodnight, falling into a deep dreamless sleep with his phone still in his hand.

Thanks for reading. Please leave a review I would love to hear your thoughts. Thanks!


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